Everyday Alchemist

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Well, carrying on from the juggling theme, now it seems like everything is up in the air. Myself included if you believe what you see from the recent photo (see below).

With many changes afoot, together with a mega-busy schedule, I’ve been having plenty of opportunity to practice being present - instead of longing for the time when everything ‘is sorted’. I’m finding that the more I accept my life as it is now, the more energy I have. So rather than getting het up over a broken website, or an imminent house move, or the on-going interference of the town wi-fi system, I am learning to instead practice accepting my life as it is. No resistance, no wishing things to be other than they are right now. And it’s from this space that I then become aware of what steps I need to take, or not take. I breathe, and remember to take a moments delight on the rollercoaster that life so often seems to be carrying me on. It’s quite fun after all. What helps me see the bright side is the knowing that the rollercoaster is taking me home. When I will get ‘there’ is of less concern to me than making sure I remember to enjoy the ride.

Or, on days when I forget, I just go and meditate at Chalice Well and practice levitation. Always good for some perspective.

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My daily life involves a fair bit of juggling at the moment, typical balls include my son, my boyfriend and of course the Spirit. Doesn’t sound particularly difficult does it? Only three balls. Except that under the heading ‘Spirit’ comes my work (which consists of about four more balls), my meditation, my daily exercises and my creative pursuits. So I’m looking at about nine balls. But juggling’s no easy task - especially when it involves people, commitments and having to earn a living. Hence I’m waking up at the moment with a sense of under-achieving in all areas. Not giving enough attention to my son, not meditating for long enough, not doing enough work, not having enough time to be with my lover. So I thought I’d turn my attention to the worlds best real life jugglers for some advice on how it’s done. And here’s my interpretation of the results.

Step One - Find Somewhere Spacious

The most important, and most easy to forget rule. Within us all is the most vast, timeless expanse beyond space and to-do lists. So before doing anything, while doing anything, after doing anything, I need to find that space. My breath can take me there anytime, all I need to do is remember to breathe long and deep. And keep remembering. From this space of peace and awareness, the next step becomes clear. Then the trick is to stay ‘in the space’ when I move into the ‘doing’ of a task..

Step Two - Put Away Your Valuables

To me, this means put away my expectations and attachments. These are my perceived valuables, the outcome, the results that I’d like to see springing from whatever I’m doing. But when I look deeper into what is really of value to me, it’s to bring the Spirit into whatever I’m doing. To do it with my heart and soul - fully present and attentive. This will bring me an endless supply of energy, imbuing my endeavours and interactions with Spirit, thus nurturing me and those around me. That’s what I really value. So I’ll put away the rest.

Step Three - Choose your balls carefully - not too light or too heavy

This speaks to me of my tasks, and of the people I choose to spend time with. In terms of my tasks - be they work related or physical exercises, they should be heavy enough to challenge me, but not so heavy that they cause stress. This step reminds me to be discerning about the tasks I take on, as well as, when possible, choosing who I spend my time with. Juggling (good juggling) requires a lot of concentration and energy - so I need to make sure I’m spending my energy wisely - not frittering it away on things or people I don’t need to do or see.

Step Four - Don’t Spend All Your Time Chasing After Bouncing Balls

Start off steadily. So many times I’ve run ahead of myself, making mistakes that wouldn’t have happened had I had a little more patience. By taking my time to learn each step well, I save huge amounts of time in the long run. So instead of throwing all my balls into the air, I’m learning to juggle by adding one ball at a time.

Step Six - Practice, Patience, Persistence.

Ah yes. Practice makes perfect, patience makes it ok to not be perfect and persistence makes it all come together in the end. Just got to keep at it. One ball at a time.

N.B.
Despite appearances, the balls aren’t really separate from eachother, but in my normal human consciousness they are. By bringing awareness into my tasks and relationships as often as I can, I’m slowly breaking the illusion that I’m juggling balls at all. Instead, as my awareness grows, I can relax and enjoy the dance - no matter how complicated the steps may seem to learn!

Oh boy. Or should I say, oh boys. What an afternoon. I was traveling by car across deepest Dartmoor in the pouring rain, when my co-pilot, Charlie, for the third time opened the dodgy window of my ford mondeo despite having been told twice to leave it shut. Seeing as he’d only opened it a crack this time, I thought I’d try to relax and stop worrying. Then came the almighty crash. We screamed thinking a Dartmoor boulder had flung itself into the car, and taken out the window on its way. But no boulder was to be seen. My nagging about the dodgy window had been justified, as it had now disappeared.
As always, these things happen in a blinding flash, and before I knew it I’d pulled into a little car park to work out what had just happened. We’d heard no shattering glass, so assumed it must’ve just dropped into the door. On closer inspection we saw we were right. Deep in the inner workings of my passenger door was my passenger window, which was obviously now not going to keep my passenger dry all the way back to Totnes, nor protect me from the storms on my way back up the motorway to Glastonbury. Great. A really long day was about to get even longer. After scrabbling around in the boot for a screwdriver, I thought my only option was to drive us back to Totnes to get it fixed. It sounded wet, and expensive.
Then they appeared. Like two black swans out of the river, except clad in rubber and carrying canoes. Wow. Thank-you Spirit! Walking towards me (ok, they were walking towards their car but I was in front of their car so it looked like they were walking towards me) were two fabulously gorgeous young men. Me, always happy to play the damsel in distress, went skipping towards them. “Hello! You don’t happen to have a screwdriver do you?”… you bet they did. And not only did they have a screwdriver, but they spent the next 20 minutes in the pouring rain fixing my car window. It was really quite something to behold. Charlie’s Angels. Only in the reverse. Three lovely guys (yes, I’ve included Charlie, who, although being the reason we were stuck in the first place, is also lovely) valiantly taking apart, and then re-assembling, my car door.

Did I mention the black rubber thing already? I did? Oh yes. OK OK I’ll stop drooling and get to the point. What was really going on here, although done in spectacular style, was simply my life reflecting back at me the presence of a certain energy within me. My helpful people ki. In terms of feng shui, helpful people ki, or chi, is one of the eight life energies that flow to us from specific directions (see my article - Living With Energy Awareness) . Helpful people ki finds its way to us from the North-West. How much of it we have dictates how ‘fortunate’ we are in meeting the right people, getting the support we need, or, in my case, being rescued in spectacular style from the middle of Dartmoor in the pouring rain!

Each day I do certain practices that cultivate the flow of these life energies, and, importantly, develop my capacity to receive them. And today, it’s evidently paying off. Feel free to get in touch for more info on how to cultivate your helpful people ki! But sorry, men in rubber not guaranteed.

Well, the trip to the hospital came and went. And Elliot’s smiling again. So am I. No more toothache, no more PMT. Sometimes impermanence can be so delightful! In times of stress I remind myself regularly “this will pass”.. and I find it useful to do it sometimes in times of joy too.. just to keep things balanced.

As it turns out, the hospital trip felt like a bit of a disaster. The meditation techniques flew out of the window, and after half an hour of Elliot’s drugged up crying (after the operation) we resorted once more to distraction - in the form of a present. And it worked. There’s definitely a time and a place for teaching kids to meditate, but there’s also a time and a place for doing whatever works. In this case, the Lord of the Rings top Trumps really did come up trumps.

For as much as I would like him to be able to practice what we’ve learnt in our meditations together, on this occasion the best option for all concerned (especially the other day-surgery patients who had to listen to Elliot’s screaming) was to do what we had to do. And in itself that’s the essence of accepting life - it’s not about getting stressed that things didn’t go the way you want them to - it’s about recognising what you need to do and when you need to do it. Going with the flow, being flexible, and not beating yourself up about getting it wrong.

Three hours later, after a scooby doo DVD and some yoghurt, Elliot was out in the courtyard back home playing with the kids nextdoor. I’ve never seen such a speedy recovery from a general anesthetic. Ok so there was an emotional meltdown in the lead up to the injection, but his inner resilience shone through in his recovery.

I’m still going to continue the meditation techniques with him, as I know they’ll be working on the deeper issues of anxiety and fear - and I know it’s not a quick fix but an ongoing process. But at the same time, I’m going to quit worrying about getting it right - as I know ultimately there is no right or wrong. We just do the best we can - and that’s good enough.

The thing with Everyday Alchemy is that my life - with all its ups & downs, mishaps and misdemeanours - becomes my guide. So when challenges come, as they often do, I use them to show me the areas of my energy that I need to work on, to make stronger. And being a parent sure brings its share of challenges. Especially this week, in which my boy has been suffering from toothache, making him whinge and whine incessantly (ok, apart from the when the calpol kicks in) and I’ve had PMT. Not a good combination. So first things first, we deal with the immediate stuff - I booked an appointment with the dentist, and started taking a remedy for my PMT. Then I look at the rest… I find the stress in me that is triggered by my sons’ moaning. May I Just add here that there is compassion too, but that tends to run out of power and get drowned out by the darker stuff! Once I’ve discovered the source of stress in me ( I feel it as a contraction of energy in my energy body), I can do something to transform it into something much more helpful. So that’s what I do, and help others to do too.

From this space of awareness, from actually transforming your energy, new ideas are generated - new ways in which I can help my son be brave, or how I can distract him.. Its actually through this time that we’ve discovered a deeper issue that we both needed to address, how to cultivate inner strength. Which no doubt will get a full airing in my new column with the Green Parent Magazine later this summer. Life doesn’t just happen to us - it happens for us - as a beautifully orchestrated chain of events. So what seemed like a disaster for my sons teeth and my sanity, was actually what we needed to become aware of a much deeper issue, that unlike the teeth, can’t be fixed later at the hospital. Watch this space to find out how we cope with that trip to the hospital next week, that’ll hopefully put a smile back on his beautiful face… and maybe one on mine too!